Meet my pride and joy:
Amelia Grae Tank
My four month old butterbean :) my everything!
With that being said, I heard a GREAT quote the other day from a friend about motherhood.
"Children should be a top priority but not your ONLY priority." This made me feel so much better about how I truly feel -emotions I wouldn't post on my facebook status for every Tom, Dick and Harry to see. Although Amelia is my world, I refuse to let "mommy" be my only role. I don't want to be "type-casted" in my own life.
The ONE time I posted that she was staying over night at her grandparents house so many people felt the need to voice their opinions..."Oh, my son is almost two and I haven't been away from him over night"..."Really? How do you do it! I could never leave my daughter that long!" Really people? HOW LUCKY we are that both sets of grandparents (and greatgrand baja!) all live in Austin, and many would be thrilled to be in our situation of NEVER having to find a babysitter.
Travis and I decided when I was pregnant that we would refuse to forget that we are a young, married, happily in love couple and we will enjoy our date nights!
Since I am a stay at home mom and hardly ever leave my nest, Friday night has now become the one day a week I look forward to. I get to remember what its like to roll the windows down, listen to loud music, and HEY I might even have a few glasses of wine and enjoy it. Shoot me. This is not to say that I do not miss her like crazy while I am away but I miss being alone with my husband just as much.
I know there has to be other young mommies that I stalk on facebook that feel the same way and I have never been scared to voice my opinion. I always wanted to respond to the "haters" by saying "Do you really think never leaving her side is doing her a favor? NO. You will wind up with the child that screams like a wild banshee every time they are handed to someone else or in an unfamiliar environment. "
To prove my case, last weekend Amelia and I took our first road trip! Louisiana bound....an 8 hour drive. I was dreading how she would behave. Amelia cried ONE time. One time the entire trip between Friday morning to Sunday evening. She was handed to multiple family members and everyone kept telling me "wow, you have such a good baby!" Damn straight...
Now that I have justified my Friday night plans away from my angel, I am off to play my other favorite roll... my husbands girlfriend :)
You deserve it!!! Have fun! I totally agree with you and when I become a mom I am following your footsteps. You are so right about about how it will only hurt them in the long run.
ReplyDeleteyour post come up on facebook and i try really hard to keep my mouth shut. i know that you and trav. are doing a wonderful job. i stayed home with rylin for the first year just out of pure guilt i never left her side but, i felt so trapped in my OWN home. and now a year later i am not scared to admit that. one night i went out (for the FIRST time after 8 months of wanting to pull my hair out--i also love my girl more than anything) and i was stressed the whole time. and i totally had reason to be. rylin was a total wreck. my mom called me every 30 mintues becauese rylin would not stop screaming. i finally gave in and went home and when i got there i told my mom that it was my own fault (which it totally was) rylin has been in "school" for about 6 months now. she is a totally differnt kid and i promise it has been one of the best things for her. she has learned independence, grown on her own, and has totally become a friendly kid who loves to do NEW (sometimes scary) things. i realize now that the whole experience of "being a 24-7" stay at home mom was selfish because it was all about ME not wanting to miss something. its hard being a mom. these kids certainly do not come with instruction books. i am also fully aweare that every newborn, baby, toddler, kid, teenager will have differnt needs at differnt times. my next one (god willing) will NOT be like miss rylin. but, i learned something so important from my first, and it sounds like you learned the same thing a little bit earlier than i did with miss A, kids are super strong! we want to think that our little babies cant do hard things,"being away from mom and dad (haha)",or a 2 year old mopping the floor when they want to do it because they see mom/dad doing it, but they so can! i find that really cool. props to you for speaking up about this. i KNOW that a lot of moms feel this way. i am a much better mom if i get a little break. and matthew and i are much better at doing the parent thing together if we spend time together as husband and wife.. not just mom and dad.. just my two cents :)
ReplyDeleteNina, you hit the nail right on the head. That is the BEST thing young, new parents could do. You are incredibly lucky to have family there. The closest family we have is easily 1000 miles west of us :( and friends come and go being in the military...We have YET to have a date night since Jax joined our little worlds. 1- because he was deployed for the first 9 months and 2-because we don't have anyone to watch him. IT IS crazy tough. I love the little guy more than anything but at this point I would be willing to pass him off to the grands for a night (even a weekend [or more] at this point.) Enjoy it! As for me- I'm going back to my wild night of scrabbble. woot woot. (:
ReplyDeleteNina....you are absolutely right... it is so important to keep your marriage strong while you are doing the most selfless job in the world, being a stay at home mom. You and Travis and great parents and if I may speak for Teresa and Darrell, we are all so lucky that you and Travis have date nights!!! If there is one piece of advice I can give you it is .....a happy wife= a happy life!!! i love you weins!!! mom
ReplyDeleteThis is great! Obviously we don't have kids yet but we always talk about how we want to continue having fun when we do! Just because you are a parent doesn't mean your social life is over! How awesome that you have both of your parents close by!
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